Free guide

The Red Flag Decoder

21 real dating-app messages, what they usually mean, and exactly what to say back, sorted from “walk away now” to “just clarify.”

Scam signals

Walk away

These usually mean someone wants your money or your data, not a date.

“Let's move to WhatsApp or Telegram, I'm barely on this app.”

What it often means: Getting you off the app removes its scam filters and your ability to report them.

What to say: I like to chat here a bit longer before swapping numbers.

“I'm working overseas on an oil rig / in the military right now.”

What it often means: A classic romance-scam cover story that explains why they can never meet or video call.

What to say: Let's do a quick video call this week and go from there.

+ 19 more messages

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